Nothing Gold Can Stay

I’ve learned recently that nothing can last forever, and unfortunately I had to learn this the hard way. About two weeks ago, I crashed my first car on the 118 coming home from work. Luckily I was the only one involved in the accident and even luckier, after spinning out from one side of the freeway to the other and hitting the railing, I was unharmed. My car however did not have the same luck; it was totaled.

After assessing that I was alright, I forgot for a little bit to be grateful for my health and was just devastated by the loss of my first car. Now I know that everyone has to lose their first car at some point, but I never thought mine would be after only three months. I loved my Toyota Celica so much, and losing it that soon was heartbreaking in the moment and the days that followed. Now that I’ve had some time to really sit with what happened, I’ve accepted it and I know that some things just aren’t meant to last.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and considering how lucky I am to be alive and physically unharmed by this accident, I believe that there was a huge lesson in this unfortunate situation for me as a new driver. I can own up to the fact that this accident was entirely my own fault, and because of that I know I will be a much more cautious driver from now on. As much as I miss my car, I know it can be replaced, but my life can’t.

Along with taking the gift of life and health more seriously, I’ve really been thinking about the fragility of life and my place in this world. Near-death experiences have a way of showing us just how important certain things are in our lives. This life is short and fleeting, which is why we have to make the most of everything we possibly can; we have to make our lives count for something. That said, it’s scary thinking that you are meant to do something important or great with your life because when your dreams and goals are so big, it is infinitely easier to fail. It’s easy to wonder and imagine what your future might be, but it’s another thing to actively do something to make this a reality.

This is just another part of growing up and being an adult. We have to know that somethings are out of our control, sometimes we make mistakes, and when bad things happen we need to be able to forgive ourselves. I believe that everyone’s life has a path, but it is hardly ever a straight path. Even though loss is a natural part of life, the fact that nothing can last forever is never an easy lesson to learn. Life is messy and full of heartache, but getting through the hard parts is what makes us strong, and that strength allows us to keep going, to push on, and do what needs to be done to make this life all it can be.

Job Application Jitters

What’s the biggest goal for a recent college graduate? To get a job! This is the most important and most daunting task in front of those of us trying to enter into the adult world. Over the past several weeks, I have been applying to jobs left and right, just praying someone will give me at least an interview. As an English major with less than 2+ years of experience in my desired field, it’s hard to get a company to notice you, among the myriad of other people applying for the same position. Sometimes it seems unfair that your experience doesn’t add up to a company’s expectations simply because education has been your main source of experience.
   
Another problem I’ve come across is that many of the jobs and internships I am qualified for are unpaid, something that is ill suited for someone trying to jumpstart a life. Unfortunately, making money is the only way to keep going in this crazy world. Some would say in the digital age, there are ample jobs for creative types, or at least more than there used to be. However, it’s difficult to sift through everything out there for just one that will give you a chance over hundreds of other applicants. It’s so hard to know how you can make yourself stand out from the rest in a resume, references, and experience. I suppose we all just have to put our best foot forward and hope someone out there will take notice.
   
This entire process can be extremely nerve-racking and at many times unrewarding. However there is an important lesson for us in this time of struggle. Even if you apply to a hundred jobs, it doesn’t matter that you don’t get ninety-nine of them, you only need one company to say yes to you. Although I’m not there yet, I know that I have to keep working towards my goals and never stop until I get there because there is no other way to achieve. Even when you’re exhausted and want to give up, don’t because hard work will always pay off in the end.

A Growing Journey

One thing that can happen when transitioning into full on adulthood is really learning who you are as a person. When you were a teenager, maybe you were beginning to see who you were. In college, you got to see yourself as an independent person while you had no curfew, partied whenever you wanted, skipped a few classes, became a feminist and a democrat, and maybe experimented with all sorts of things from drugs, to sex, to deciding if you wanted to go Greek.  And when all the chaos of being on your own starts to settle in, that is when who you were always meant to be starts to develop. As time goes by, you grow out of those experiments and learn to narrow down what exactly it is you want from life and what you are going to do in order to make it happen.

    I could keep going with the list of what happens mentally as we progress in our lives, but I can’t go much further into the future because this is about where I’m at. I’ve learned so much about myself through the process of growing up in all stages and I know I have much more to do. The prospect of growing even deeper into who I am supposed to be absolutely thrills me. However, there are always fears that I won’t live up to who I want my future self to be. Then again, this is a price we pay for growing up. There is no fast forward or rewind, as we all wish there were. But wouldn’t it be a fantastic discovery if we learned how to replay our greatest hits in life whenever we wanted? Since this hasn’t been discovered yet, we as mere mortals must always live in the present, never able to return to the past and never really certain of what the future might hold for us.

    The truth is, I’m not where I want to be in life yet, but wanting everything to be here now is just a side-effect of being young. I want to be able to skip ahead to all the good stuff, but I know I need to remember to enjoy all the little things and the good things I have now. For instance, I’d say getting my first car this week was a step in the right direction. I am so in love with it and it is just one step closer to the rest of my life. Although there are bigger goals in my mind’s eye, those are for another day and today has its own agenda. There is still so much of myself I have yet to discover, and as I continue the process of being an adult, I have to remember that the journey makes the destination, not the other way around.