Enjoy The Little Things

There are so many magical and exciting things happening in your twenties, big and small, why wouldn’t you take the time to appreciate them? I’m in this place in my life where I don’t have everything together. I don’t have my dream job, my own place, my dream car, or my dream guy. The thing is though, I’m good with it, because right now is not the time for any of that. Right now is the time for me to get it together and start building towards all those dreams. And while I’m beyond excited for the day I get to have all of those dreams realized, I’m also perfectly happy with the life I’m living in the meantime.



For instance, a few days ago, I went on a date with myself and it was one of the best nights I’d had in a while. I went to the movies, got some dinner, had a glass of wine, and it was absolutely lovely. I’ve come to realize that I truly love being in my own company and I think this is the biggest little thing to enjoy. Some people hate being alone, can’t stand the silence, or don’t know themselves enough to love being alone, but that’s simply not me. I’ve always considered myself an independent person, but it wasn’t until this past year or so that I’ve learned to know my mind as well as I do now and to listen to myself more earnestly. It can be a long process getting to know, accepting and loving yourself, but it is so worth it. Of course I enjoy the company of others as well, and I do hope there will be someone I can share my life with in the near future, but in the meantime it is comforting to be happy in my own company.


This time in life can be a struggle to find out who you really are or what you really want and that’s okay because that’s what your twenties are for. There are so many ups and downs, but the important thing to remember is to not dwell on the downs, but to learn and grow from them and enjoy the ride of the ups as much as possible. I’ve been through a streak of bad luck lately, but I’m not going to let it define me or distract me from what I really want out of life. Everything I’ve been through in my life, good and bad, has given me perspective and either lessons learned or fond memories.



Some of the best advice I got from one of my college professors was that nothing bad can ever happen to a writer, it is all just material. That is the way I choose to look at my mistakes and my hard times. There are so many unknowns about being in our twenties, but that doesn’t mean we have to get down on ourselves because of it. We need to realize our potential and always be working towards our goals because one day we will reach them and be so grateful that we didn’t give up on ourselves. So breathe, take life as it comes, and remember to enjoy the little things.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

I’ve learned recently that nothing can last forever, and unfortunately I had to learn this the hard way. About two weeks ago, I crashed my first car on the 118 coming home from work. Luckily I was the only one involved in the accident and even luckier, after spinning out from one side of the freeway to the other and hitting the railing, I was unharmed. My car however did not have the same luck; it was totaled.

After assessing that I was alright, I forgot for a little bit to be grateful for my health and was just devastated by the loss of my first car. Now I know that everyone has to lose their first car at some point, but I never thought mine would be after only three months. I loved my Toyota Celica so much, and losing it that soon was heartbreaking in the moment and the days that followed. Now that I’ve had some time to really sit with what happened, I’ve accepted it and I know that some things just aren’t meant to last.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, and considering how lucky I am to be alive and physically unharmed by this accident, I believe that there was a huge lesson in this unfortunate situation for me as a new driver. I can own up to the fact that this accident was entirely my own fault, and because of that I know I will be a much more cautious driver from now on. As much as I miss my car, I know it can be replaced, but my life can’t.

Along with taking the gift of life and health more seriously, I’ve really been thinking about the fragility of life and my place in this world. Near-death experiences have a way of showing us just how important certain things are in our lives. This life is short and fleeting, which is why we have to make the most of everything we possibly can; we have to make our lives count for something. That said, it’s scary thinking that you are meant to do something important or great with your life because when your dreams and goals are so big, it is infinitely easier to fail. It’s easy to wonder and imagine what your future might be, but it’s another thing to actively do something to make this a reality.

This is just another part of growing up and being an adult. We have to know that somethings are out of our control, sometimes we make mistakes, and when bad things happen we need to be able to forgive ourselves. I believe that everyone’s life has a path, but it is hardly ever a straight path. Even though loss is a natural part of life, the fact that nothing can last forever is never an easy lesson to learn. Life is messy and full of heartache, but getting through the hard parts is what makes us strong, and that strength allows us to keep going, to push on, and do what needs to be done to make this life all it can be.

Do Not Worry

Because life after college can often hold uncertainty for most of us, it’s hard not to worry about where we will be employed in the future, or how we will make our money and how much, or who we will spend our time with down the road. Although we know worrying cannot solve anything, it is a constant burden for us. But that’s just the point. None of us can know the future and what it holds for any one of us. We must live life in the now and accept that the future is beyond our grasp.

Today, I had my first job interview. It went well, but as it’s only preliminary, it didn’t do much in the way of boosting my confidence. When I got home from the long traffic-filled drive to downtown LA and back, I absentmindedly scrolled through my Instagram feed, and came across a Bible verse. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” –Matthew 6:34 This passage was exactly what I needed to hear today. I know a lot of people aren’t religious, but I think this speaks to anyone and everyone who worries about what tomorrow will bring, how they will provide for themselves or their loved ones, and anything else they are unsure of.
  
Call it the universe, or fate, destiny, or God, but I think if I were to ask, most people would say that they believe the future will work itself out, one way or another. Whatever happens in our lives, the earth will still turn and life will go on, no matter what events or choices present themselves in the process or how much we worry about them. In the midst of worrying though, it’s hard to remember that tomorrow will take care of itself. Because I have my faith, I can rely on God to provide for me, even if it’s not in the way I expect. I know not everyone has that same belief, but it’s better to have faith in something than spend my time worrying about the things I can’t possibly know.
  
Today, I needed to be reminded to take a breath and let tomorrow be tomorrow. Of course, I do want to do my part in taking the right steps towards my future, but in the end nothing is up to me. My life has a path, and I cannot know where it will lead or what is along the road, but I know that it can’t ever stop. Life is inevitable, we might as well live it to the fullest in the present. So if you’re troubled about what your future will be, don’t because tomorrow will take care of itself and each day has enough trouble of it’s own.

Job Application Jitters

What’s the biggest goal for a recent college graduate? To get a job! This is the most important and most daunting task in front of those of us trying to enter into the adult world. Over the past several weeks, I have been applying to jobs left and right, just praying someone will give me at least an interview. As an English major with less than 2+ years of experience in my desired field, it’s hard to get a company to notice you, among the myriad of other people applying for the same position. Sometimes it seems unfair that your experience doesn’t add up to a company’s expectations simply because education has been your main source of experience.
   
Another problem I’ve come across is that many of the jobs and internships I am qualified for are unpaid, something that is ill suited for someone trying to jumpstart a life. Unfortunately, making money is the only way to keep going in this crazy world. Some would say in the digital age, there are ample jobs for creative types, or at least more than there used to be. However, it’s difficult to sift through everything out there for just one that will give you a chance over hundreds of other applicants. It’s so hard to know how you can make yourself stand out from the rest in a resume, references, and experience. I suppose we all just have to put our best foot forward and hope someone out there will take notice.
   
This entire process can be extremely nerve-racking and at many times unrewarding. However there is an important lesson for us in this time of struggle. Even if you apply to a hundred jobs, it doesn’t matter that you don’t get ninety-nine of them, you only need one company to say yes to you. Although I’m not there yet, I know that I have to keep working towards my goals and never stop until I get there because there is no other way to achieve. Even when you’re exhausted and want to give up, don’t because hard work will always pay off in the end.

Dress Up

    When we were little we all used to play dress up. And as you got older you would only dress up for special occasions, maybe a dress here a tie there. But what I’m learning about the world of professionalism is how to dress like an adult. Throughout college, my go to outfit was a pair of leggings, Toms, and a tank top. Now I know this won’t cut it in the professional world and it’s time for me to look for something a little more grown up. The problem for me is that right now, shopping is a nightmare. I am in the midst of losing weight through Weight Watchers, which has been going wonderfully, however I’m still not my goal weight yet. Being a curvy woman makes shopping difficult to begin with, but add size fluctuation and it becomes even more frustrating. Although it’s not fun shopping for professional clothes right now, I know it’s something I can’t avoid much longer.

    When I think about my future self, I see a woman who is poised, dressed perfectly and professionally with a great job and who ultimately has her life together. As of now, I am none of those things, but I think it all comes one step at a time. My first step, aside from applying to jobs, is looking the part. As much as it pains me, I have to trade in my leggings for trousers and my tank tops for blazers.

    Since this is new territory for me, it can be difficult to decide how I feel about this. On the one hand, I’m excited to move forward with my life and be the woman I see myself becoming. On the other hand, there is a loss I’m beginning to feel as my college self starts to slip away to be replaced by the more sophisticated model of me. Don’t get me wrong, sophisticated is a good thing, but being able to throw on whatever you want and go to class was pretty nice too.

    I think in the end, growing up and nostalgia go hand in hand, but there must be a balance. There is always going to be a longing for those comfortable college years, but I know as much as I want to live in my yoga pants and flip flops, eventually I have to move on to more adult things like button downs and heels. I know getting there won’t be easy, but my future self will thank me for all the effort when she’s impeccably dressed. And one day the sophisticated me will look back and smile with only a twinge of nostalgia because the future holds even brighter things.

Pumped For Firsts

In the process of learning how to adult, there are many learning steps to be taken. Last week I got my first car, which I am utterly ecstatic about. Now I know that for a lot of people, a car is something they get at sixteen or seventeen, but that’s just not the way I did things. Since I’ve never really needed a car until now, I’ve also never learned how to pump gas, which is something that was rectified just a few days ago. Things like pumping your gas seem like no big deal, but the thing about doing anything new, is that you need to know how to do it. A family friend explained pumping gas to me as if it were like having sex. Put in crude terms, you just put it in and keep it in until it's finished, you’ll know when it’s finished. When he told me this, I laughed out loud, but thinking about it, he’s not wrong. You could say I lost my gas pumping virginity the other day and like anything, the first time you do something, it’s bound to be clumsy and you’re not going to be a pro at it yet.

    I’m not going to compare all firsts to losing your virginity, but let’s be honest, there are some similarities, no matter if it's a first day at a new job, the first time pumping gas, or the first time trying to barbecue meat. Practice makes perfect, and in most places in my life, I’m hardly there yet.

    I’m beginning to learn that I am in for a lot of firsts being right out of college. You think you know the world from what you’ve lived, but the truth is, there is so much more out there to discover. Every time we begin somewhere new, we have to start all over from the bottom and work our way up. Just like moving from middle school to high school and high school to college, the professional world is not much different in the chain of hierarchy. That’s just how it works, no matter what opinions you may have on it. Personally, I’m excited to see what my next firsts will be. They can be daunting, but it’s important to remember that the things that scare us are often the things most worth doing. We have to accept that we won’t be pros right out of the gate, but with time and diligence, we’ll get there.